all in a day's work

When I picked The Bug up from school on Friday afternoon, the report was not good. Yes, he had taken a nap, but that was about the only positive thing that could be said. Where to begin? In no particular order, here are some highlights:

The assistant director had to speak to The Bug about appropriate behaviour at lunch. As in, it is not appropriate to sit on the table with ones knees on either side of ones plate.

He got up from his nap, and his teacher noticed that he had gum in his mouth. The Bug reported that he got the gum from underneath his cot. Ew. When instructed to put the gum in the garbage, The Bug swallowed it instead.

There was a small poop accident, so he came home with soiled underpants (in a plastic bag, inside his backpack).

The Bug and two of his friends were overheard having an animated conversation which apparently consisted mostly of the word "fuck."

He demonstrated that his listening skills are truly horrible by once again ignoring me outright when it was time to leave school. He did finally acknowledge that I was speaking to him, though. He told me "No, I'm not going."

When we left school, he ran down the sidewalk and expressed his affection for my car by giving it a full-on mouth-and-face-smashed-up-against-the-wintry-salty-muck-just-below-the-gas-tank-kiss. Again, I say ew.

Either right before, or right after, the kissing of the car, in the two seconds it took me to put his backpack on the seat, The Bug tried to run out into middle of the parking lot by himself.

He is what the experts call a spirited child.
No wonder I'm tired.