1 post tagged “everyone poops”

(There are a lot of steps to this. I don't expect just anyone to be able to replicate it.)

Be woken up at a semi-reasonable hour, by a rested and good humoured Bug, climbing into bed with you to snuggle.

Have time for family time and a leisurely shower before you have to leave the house.

Go, as a family, to the Bug's school, for the special Saturday with Mom & Dad, where he gets to show us all the cool work* he does. He's not quite four, and he's working on reading and spelling!

Have the Bug help you make lunch. French toast, apple and carrots. He picked the menu.

• Baby carrots = no prep.
• Apple = the Bug shows me that he can use the apple slicer all by himself**, like they do at school, then cuts the slices into smaller pieces (with his own not-sharp-enough-to-cut-himself knife)!
• French toast = the Bug mixes up the egg & milk, sozzles the bread around, puts it on the griddle, flips it when the first side is done, and serves it onto plates when it's ready.

Have a little play time, and then get ready for nap. Read Everyone Poops and All About Scabs before lights out. Snuggle the boy, sing some songs, and fall asleep with him with for a bit.

Wake up and realize "Ohmygod, he's asleep! I have at least five minutes to myself!" Go downstairs and watch Mary Hicks on last night's Late Night with David Letterman. Remember why you love Bill Hicks so much, and appreciate Letterman's humility and sincerity in admitting he was an asshat fifteen years ago.

Knit and watch stupid tv while waiting for the Bug to wake up.
 
Realize you're supposed to be putting dinner in the slow cooker.

Start dinner, get almost done, and hear the Bug get up.

Diffuse potential tantrum brought about by the famous "I'm upset because I didn't have any dreams!" excuse.

Have the Bug help with the rest of the crockpot dinner preparations.

Play Bob the Builder with The Smartest and Funniest Boy in the World.

Watch a ridiculous TLC show about small children in pageants with the boy who plays princess with his two best girl friends at school.

Have a sit-down family dinner (which hardly ever happens at our house) where everyone likes what is being served (this is a miracle unto itself).

Don't kill the boy before bed time, no matter how much he doesn't listen. At bed time, read The Dangerous Alphabet, The Gas We Pass, and All About Scabs (yes, again).

Have a husband who is so awesome that he will go to the grocery store on a Saturday night, the night before the Stupidbowl, when it's sure to be teeming with people stocking up on chips and salsa and beer, so you don't have to.

Eat one of the fabulous Skinny Cow Truffle bars that your husband brought home, while watching home buying shows on TLC and looking for houses online. Then watch Flight of the Concords. Then interrupt the first five minutes of your husbands Battlestar Galactica episode with about thirty stupid questions.

At about midnight, leave your husband in peace with his scifi, and on your way to your own room, check on the Bug. See how sweet he looks, sleeping? Pull his covers up, put Elephante in the crook of his arm, give him a kiss, and tell him you love him.

Climb into bed, open up the laptop, and report to the internets on how awesome your kid is. Leave out the parts where you may have lost your patience and gotten a bit short with him. After all, you must be a good mom - how else coud you have such an awesome kid?

*"Work" being one of those Montessori terms. Yes, we are those people. It's a really good place for him and he is so happy there.

**"All by himself" in this case means "until it gets too hard and he needs help," which equals about halfway through the apple. Still, pretty damn impressive!